You know those turning points in life? Something happens and you just know that nothing will ever be the same again. They seem to come around once in a decade, or so. I have had a few and still remember every one of them as if they happened yesterday.
The latest major turning point: April 2014 - A sunny, cold spring week near Norrköping, Sweden. Primal Therapy: without a doubt the hardest thing I have ever done or been through in my whole life. Imagine giving birth seven days on a row - while running a marathon at the same time - and you start getting the picture. After having followed all sorts of personal development and spiritual courses and therapies for a decade, I thought I had a pretty good idea about the different patterns controlling my life. But there was so much more and it went so much deeper than I could have imagined.
From both family lineages I have inherited a deep, deep fear and distrust of life. Patterns of dissociation, addictions and living a life of death. A need to suppress life, by controlling the self and others through judgment, victimhood or checking out. All these energies still present in MY body, like a sticky, black, sickening substance, infiltrating every organ and every cell.
The latest major turning point: April 2014 - A sunny, cold spring week near Norrköping, Sweden. Primal Therapy: without a doubt the hardest thing I have ever done or been through in my whole life. Imagine giving birth seven days on a row - while running a marathon at the same time - and you start getting the picture. After having followed all sorts of personal development and spiritual courses and therapies for a decade, I thought I had a pretty good idea about the different patterns controlling my life. But there was so much more and it went so much deeper than I could have imagined.
From both family lineages I have inherited a deep, deep fear and distrust of life. Patterns of dissociation, addictions and living a life of death. A need to suppress life, by controlling the self and others through judgment, victimhood or checking out. All these energies still present in MY body, like a sticky, black, sickening substance, infiltrating every organ and every cell.
Me, totally carrying on with the family heritage, not feeling safe in my body, tuning out, addicted to food and comfort, keeping my anger & life force down, believing that if I could just control events and people around me, I would some day feel safe enough to be here, to live. To my shame, this included trying to control my daughter, squashing her life force and spirit. Not because anyone is or was evil (it is not about blame), but because these patterns are so damn hard to break.
All events from the past, including starvation, abuse and wars, the voices of our parents, are still stored in our bodies. Almost all of us are stuck at the emotional level of a 3 year old our whole lives, and we do not even know it. We think we are free, but in reality, we just keep on repeating (or rebelling against) the way our mothers, fathers and ancestors lived. Generation after generation after generation…
One week of Primal Therapy and things feel different, lighter somehow (and I am not talking about the extra kilos I lost in the process). The unexpected discovery: all those voices, all that baggage – it is not me. It was never me! I want to be here! I WANT TO LIVE! I had no idea what this body and spirit were capable of, the force that lies inside. I am DONE with living a life of death. From now on I choose FREEDOM and LIFE!
All events from the past, including starvation, abuse and wars, the voices of our parents, are still stored in our bodies. Almost all of us are stuck at the emotional level of a 3 year old our whole lives, and we do not even know it. We think we are free, but in reality, we just keep on repeating (or rebelling against) the way our mothers, fathers and ancestors lived. Generation after generation after generation…
One week of Primal Therapy and things feel different, lighter somehow (and I am not talking about the extra kilos I lost in the process). The unexpected discovery: all those voices, all that baggage – it is not me. It was never me! I want to be here! I WANT TO LIVE! I had no idea what this body and spirit were capable of, the force that lies inside. I am DONE with living a life of death. From now on I choose FREEDOM and LIFE!
It is a truly transformative process. One of the most rewarding things that happened so far is to see the change in my daughter and our interaction. She feels so joyful, vibrant and alive and even though she still has her temper and moods, I can finally allow her to be who she is, without trying to control her so that I can feel safe. It is a true blessing.
And this is only the beginning. Sure, there is a lot of work ahead, but at least now I feel that I have a real shot at actually becoming who I came to be. Feeling like a newborn baby, I have no clue what is coming, but I am ready to trust –knowing with absolute certainty that life will never be the same again.
Want to know more? Check out:
What is Primal Therapy?
Primal Therapy with Puja
Ground Zero Primal
You can post your comments and questions in the Comments field below, on FaceBook or send me an e-mail and I will do my best to answer.
And this is only the beginning. Sure, there is a lot of work ahead, but at least now I feel that I have a real shot at actually becoming who I came to be. Feeling like a newborn baby, I have no clue what is coming, but I am ready to trust –knowing with absolute certainty that life will never be the same again.
Want to know more? Check out:
What is Primal Therapy?
Primal Therapy with Puja
Ground Zero Primal
You can post your comments and questions in the Comments field below, on FaceBook or send me an e-mail and I will do my best to answer.
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